Selfishness and Dressing
We trucked up the mountain Saturday to get end-of-the-season pickings. So Kat and I left out with a bushel of tasty winesap apples and a gallon and a half of fresh cider. After this, we got to spend some time sniffing around the old family farm, about 350 acres of which her grandfather still owns. Oh, and needless to say, amongst all this family togetherness, I was fed like a prize hog. Turkey, ham, dressing, broccoli casserole, sweet p'taters....and the beat goes on. So now we're celebrating having a cd player in the car that works (kudos to my loving wife who had mercy on me) and finally making a decision on where to go to church. I suppose it all came out of weighing the pros and cons. My friend Scott would be proud. If we went to a different church, we wouldn't have the open perspective on all the issues that we have now, and we wouldn't feel guilty about not singing in the choir or playing bass. But the issues would still be there, because no church is perfect this side of Glory (I tell myself that more than you), and we would have to make all new friends and work even harder at maintaining the friendships we have now (which we suck at anyway). So staying and facing up to the fact that we haven't worked any harder than anybody else and have no right to complain is going to be the flavor of the moment. I think I like this "I am the problem" mentality that I think I mentioned before to you. Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz, "I am the problem." I thought about it psychologically, and truly, I do find fault with people mostly for the problems that I have. I suppose that's something of a defense mechanism against fessing up to the stuff I've screwed up. These add up to quite a few. They all pretty much stem from the fact that I'm a selfish brat. Old Veruca wanting the Oompa Loompa NOW!!! Distraction is so easy though, through TV and such. But I've got to publish now before the laptop runs out of power. Bon soir!