Thursday, January 12, 2006

Labyrinthene Malaise

So, to correct my previous statement, I recant with, "No, I didn't get fired." Strange phone call from one of my managers. I was told, while on the way to Ohio, to bring in all my aprons and any written material I might have. He had that ominous tone that said, "I don't really want to tell you this up front, so I'm going to be round about in saying what I really want to say." Anyways, long story short, I'm still a partner at Starbucks.

A fellow blogger of mine named Adam Feldman recently did a post on why he's blogging in the first place. A pox upon you Adam, for you force me to look at my own motivation, and self-analysis has always been a labyrinth that I get lost in, meeting Minotaurs of my own device. But, I think that this time, I do have a good reason to continue. You see, if I don't write, my ability to write goes to the dogs. If I don't write, I am also less able to sort out my emotions and thoughts into a legible construct. So, thus justified, I continue blogging, and I hope that you enjoy it along the way.

Life in recent times has been subject to a sort of malaise. I could think of all kinds of things to blame it on, but here are the most likely culprits:


Getting an undergraduate degree was always second to hanging out with friends and going places with people while I was in school. This is further proved by the fact that my 4-year and multi-thousand dollar degree has taken me to......Starbucks. One might say, though, that the social life of a college student in the map-spot of Jefferson City is anything but exciting. And that would be correct, except for the fact that all the small pleasures and meaningless things I did, I did with other people. Presence is the key.


This place, for the past five or six years, has been my home away from home. I could always go there and feel like I was important, and know that there were people who cared deeply about me and about the building of brotherhood in the Kingdom. I have a home, but not a hangout. I have a wife who I try to spend as much time as possible with, but not a lot of time to spend with friends when we have no common hangout or place to relax. This is as much my fault as anyone else's, but again, presence.....


In recent days, I feel like I'm always waiting for something to happen that's going to happen in the near future. I'm trying to get more gigs. These are usually the source of a great time with whoever you're playing with. I'm waiting on my cds to come in the mail (hopefully by the 18th) so I can, for the first time, have some hardcore evidence that I'm not just goofing around with this music career. At least, that's the way it feels.

Anyways, perhaps you can help. I am on the lookout for concerts to play. House concerts, cafes, auditoriums, college venues, and the like. Your prayer, of course, is always appreciated.


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