Furthermore, Some Questions

It's been a booger of a week. The show at Grounds & Sounds was not exactly a success in earthly terms, with the exception of a couple cd sales. I have to remember that God doesn't necessarily operate in earthly terms though. That said, one of my friends walked out on me that night before the show, and didn't bother to really sit down and talk about whatever grievances were between us. So we played the show anyway, even though I was quite hurt by the whole thing. I sort of felt sorry for the gaggle of folks that were there. Their perception of the tension in the room and their inability to help or deal with it was written on their faces.

The weather didn't help much. A heaviness gathered in the air outside and commenced in a fair monsoon by the time we left for a sympathy meal at Cracker Barrel. It was one of those times when one feels like throwing in the towel. Still, a walk in the soaking waters of that storm would've been like the waters of Jordan at that point. I think I'm still on the path of questioning whether I'm going the way I should. But I will speak no more of my quarrel, because it is as decided as I can make it.

I did have a wonderful day off with Kat today, even though we were a bit discouraged this morning as we both felt that the church we've been visiting is not where God wants us to be. There are good people there, and I feel somewhat disappointed in not worshiping with them on a weekly basis. The thing we're looking for now is a place where we can study the Bible with people. It seems a simple enough request, but these places are unfortunately few and far between. I need to pray more. Lately I feel more and more burdened by the agnostic attitude that is so pervasive in the American halls of the so-called intelligentsia. Like I told a fellow Friday though, I think there aren't but two or three people in the country who could be set on the road to discipleship through the proven logic of a Christian worldview. Like a great many blanket statements I tuck my opinions into, I'm sure that's grossly inaccurate. I've been reading How Now Shall We Live by Chuck Colson, and the man is wonderfully adept at proving the foolishness of alternative worldviews, insomuch as one can with room left for faith. But I don't really feel equipped to deal with any conversation I get into. Furthermore, I don't believe that winning various and sundry debates would bring any sheep into this Gentile sheep-pen. It might do a lot more of proving my jackass stubbornness and my curt, unreignable tongue.

Grace. Grace is the agent of question. Grace follows no logic and no material rules, because it's not bound by any chains but the ever-marching laws of Love - by the character of God himself. Colson calls it common grace: that which you and I can in our own power bestow. And to tell the truth, I do love the bewildered look people give in payment for an unprecedented gift. You'd think I had put the whole of the muddy Holston in a bottle and set it in their hands.

PS. I'll try to post an entire list of available cds soon. Offhand, I could sell you the original Matrix soundtrack for a slim price.