Thursday, January 11, 2007

Drive Through Lessons

In the midst of a Culinary Corn Fritter Failure (while I heal my burn and wait for the skillet to cool), I shall pull out the ol' blackboard. Let's begin.

Nope. I'm not spelling it "Thru", because that's wrong.

But as one who works in the 'service industry' (in my arena, shorthand for Fast Food), and who operates this domestic anomaly (nope, they don't have them in other countries - don't know about Canada, though), I shall now take time to write out the established, thus far unwritten, and perhaps unknown (if you are 'that' person) code of etiquette for utilizing a drive-through service.

*As for a disclaimer - no, I'm not disgruntled. But this knowledge is important for you, dear consumer.

The Rules by Which to Play:

1. Overarching and foremost is the theme of personhood. On the other side of that speaker is a living, breathing, competent (we hope) human being, just like you. That person's job is to serve you with a smile (and a meal or some dry-cleaning or a receipt). Don't make it difficult for them.

2. Do not be on your cell phone. If the call is important enough that you may save someone's life by maintaining an open line, why are you pausing for a burger/latte/pressed shirt? Understand that the nod-smile-and-index-finger approach does not constitute civility or conversation. That's like trying to work on your overhand swing while having a chat with your spouse about the unbalanced checkbook. That could get ugly fast.

3. Your music and car stereo are not, in a general restaurant sense, enjoyable. One or two people at the window might groove along with you, but further indoors, patrons and employees are thinking the word, "Jerk."

4. If you are mostly illiterate, please do not attempt to hone your skills on the menu while three cars are behind you. They're paying as well, and the staff can help you decide what your wanting. Furthermore, if you've never been to the restaurant or business, come inside. Get acquainted. Have a sit-down. Aren't those beeps, voices, and mechanical hisses coming out of the speaker intriguing? Find out what they really come from. You wouldn't set up a bank account over the drive-through speaker, now would you?

5. If you, in the case of restaurants, are ordering for your private army, House of Commons, or Hillary Duff Fan Club, it is best, again, to come inside. It takes a long time to squeeze twenty-five different beverage combinations through that two-by-three foot hole in the wall.

6. If you are a difficult customer (you know who you are), tip in the clearly visible tip jar, or at least donate to the Ronald McDonald House plexi-glass box.

7. Take heart. The employee might enjoy the thirty seconds of the day when he/she gets to meet you. The smile might not be fake. Enjoy meeting them too.

8. SEE, The Golden Rule.


Aha! The smoke has finally cleared from my first attempt at making corn fritters. The first three were great (because I ate them). The remainder need some evangelism to convert to corn fritter status (and that's more my spiritual task than gift). I'll get you next time, Corn Fritters! Next time!

5 Comments:

and Anonymous Anonymous addressed the Senate...

Your rules for patrons...in the drive thru. or any eatery are spot on.

AMEN Brutha you preach the good word.

there have been too many time I wanted to come across the ice cream cooler and smack the "Life Saving" cellphone talker.

8:11 AM, January 12, 2007  
and Anonymous Anonymous addressed the Senate...

Your rules for patrons...in the drive thru. or any eatery are spot on.

AMEN Brutha you preach the good word.

there have been too many time I wanted to come across the ice cream cooler and smack the "Life Saving" cellphone talker.

8:12 AM, January 12, 2007  
and Anonymous Anonymous addressed the Senate...

Your rules for patrons...in the drive thru. or any eatery are spot on.

AMEN Brutha you preach the good word.

there have been too many time I wanted to come across the ice cream cooler and smack the "Life Saving" cellphone talker.

8:13 AM, January 12, 2007  
and Blogger adam addressed the Senate...

nice. seeing as how i don't eat fast food anymore, i'll keep this in mind next time i order @ the counter for something.

btw, i try to keep similar etiquite when ordering @ coffeeshops, etc.. especially the word about cell phones. i never check out @ a grocery store, target or coffee shop while on the phone. it's just rude to the employee and to the person you're on the phone with.

my $.02

8:54 AM, January 12, 2007  
and Blogger Whipple addressed the Senate...

Kat and I have developed a highly potential relationship with a cashier at Food City, named April. She's this tiny little thing, and she's 16 with a great head on her shoulders. And it's much more fun talking to 'a live one' than using those confounded machines.

They're like the Wakowski Brothers' worst nightmare...

today's word: gakarkn - a turkish doctor with an overly large turban whose job it is to empty the bedpans.

7:25 PM, January 12, 2007  

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